Nasty.

Wanna hear something gross?  Yeah, I thought so.

I was brought up to eat cornbread by putting it into a cup and pouring milk over it.  Then, you get a spoon, and eat the cornbread out of the cup.

That’s not the gross part.

This morning, I was running early, so I decided that I’d eat breakfast at home.  We had cornbread with chili two nights ago, so I decided to have the cornbread and milk for breakfast.  I got everything together, sat down, put the spoon into my mouth, and nearly vomited.  It tasted like something I’d never tasted before, and god willing, never will again.  It had this gross, metallic, sour taste to it.  Ugh!

Apparently, the cornbread had gone bad.  I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth until I got to work and drank my coffee.

When I got home this evening, I was telling my mom about how the cornbread went bad, and she looked at me and said “well, yeah…didn’t you see the mold all over it?

So apparently, I ate moldy cornbread and didn’t even know it.  I just thought it went stale and tasted gross.

SICK.

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Fear the NyQuil

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Of course two days before I was to start my new job, I came down with my annual cold.  Bleh!  Stuffed up nose, sore throat, smokers voice, the whole 9.  I chugged orange juice, pounded sudafed, slept for hours, but nothing worked.  So, I went to orientation today and almost made it through the whole day without excusing myself to have an epic coughing fit that nearly led to my vomiting on the conference room table.

Tonight, I have turned to NyQuil in hopes of some relief.  For some reason, I couldn’t remember if the “Q” was capitalized, so when I googled it to find out the correct spelling and came across this article in Wired Magazine, I just had to share.

Enjoy!

Wired Magazine, October, 2007

What’s Inside:  NyQuil, Fortified with Powerful Narcotics!

Acetaminophen
One of the many wonder-pharmaceuticals that can be derived from coal tar, acetaminophen was used for nearly a century as a painkiller and fever reducer before anyone figured out how it worked. We now know that as the drug breaks down in the body, it turns into a cannabinoid: yes, stoners, the same type of compound that makes marijuana so irresistible. Doctors also once thought acetaminophen made users more talkative and outgoing. Current research suggests this idea was half-baked.

Dextromethorphan HBr
A cough suppressant. Well, actually, in the body it becomes dextrorphan, a cough suppressant, and levorphanol, a painkiller five times as powerful as morphine. Like PCP and ketamine, DXM is also an NMDA receptor antagonist, so the National Institute on Drug Abuse lists it as a “dissociative” drug. Twelve times the recommended dose of NyQuil leads to distorted perceptions of sight and sound and produces feelings of detachment — dissociation — from the environment and oneself. For people whose bodies are unusually slow at metabolizing the drug, even low doses of DXM trigger full-blown “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” psychedelic trips.

Doxylamine succinate
Officially, this ingredient is on the label as an antihistamine. But it is equally useful as a sleep aid, providing a nice, convenient one-two… Zzzz.

Citric acid
Citric acid has proven somewhat effective as a flu killer, but only if you spray it into your nose. Because NyQuil is meant to be swallowed, not snorted, its presence here is probably to add a little tang, and possibly to act as a low-level preservative.

Alcohol
Hooch has been used as a folk remedy for the common cold for centuries (despite the fact that it doesn’t work). But according to Procter & Gamble, alcohol’s sole purpose in NyQuil is to serve as a solvent, keeping the top three ingredients in solution.

Polyethylene glycol and propylene glycol
Chemical cousins used as thickeners. NyQuil’s consistency is somewhere between water and honey, but not because it needs to be. Drug marketers know many people prefer medicines in syrup form.

Sodium citrate
In other contexts sodium citrate is an anticoagulant; most likely it is used here as a buffer to maintain the acid-base balance of all the other ingredients.

Flavor
P&G isn’t talking, but we suspect the cloyingly repulsive taste of NyQuil is to ensure that you can swallow a tablespoon or two but can’t drink enough of the stuff to start seeing Jesus.

High fructose corn syrup
A dash of sugar helps that tablespoon or two go down.

Ohmuhgawd

sm_cougarA 20 year old kid e-mailed me on myspace today asking me to go to the movies.  What the crap?  I hardly even use myspace anymore and this is exactly why.  I am way too old for this junk.

I feel like a cradle robbing cougar and I didn’t even do anything.

Ga Blah

Is anyone else annoyed by Lady Gaga?  While I will admit that I do sing along to her stupid song “Just Dance,” I pretty much can’t stand the rest of her.  Her voice reminds me of a combination of Christina Aguilera and Gwen Stefani.  There is all of this hype around her but really I think she’s a joke.  She looks like she’s on crack, I have no idea what her style means, and I think she’s trying too hard.  I don’t think there is anything about her that we haven’t seen before except for that god awful bow of hair she has been wearing around the world.  I kind of feel like she’s a fad who is going to fade out shortly.  Bleh.

I hate it when I blog about people that I can’t stand.  In retrospect I always feel like a tool for wasting my time and energy talking about things and people who remind me of nails on a chalkboard.  Oh well.

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