I was recently broken up with by a friend I’ve known since high school. Were we BFF’s? No. Did we see each other frequently? No. Did I feel like we were changing and growing? Yes. Did I still have interest in her life? Yes. Was I the model friend? Nope. Did I try? Maybe not hard enough. Did I care? Yes.
It’s interesting to me how friendships end. People grow and change and I understand that. I am in no way shape or form the person I was in high school. Hell, I’m not even the same person I was a year ago. Life and people constantly evolve, and I wouldn’t expect anything else from any of my friends. It’s just interesting to me how these relationships just end without any explanation or words, but rather by the click of a button to remove someone from your life via facebook. It’s completely fascinating to me.
Maybe prior to technology and facebook it was easier to let friendships just naturally fall apart until both people just quit calling and making an effort. I personally think that facebook is a great way to keep in touch with people and maintaining somewhat of a friendship, even if only virtually. Maybe I’m just the type of person who is okay maintaining a semblance of friendships through social networking.
This scenario got me thinking though. Why do we just abruptly end friendships and not treat them like the real relationships that they are? While the friendship that I had with the person who just ended it was by no means perfect, it was a friendship that was complicated with a lot of twists and turns over the 14 years that we had known each other. You would think that after such a long amount of time, some kind of explanation would be given. “We don’t have anything in common anymore,” or “I don’t feel like our friendship is balanced,” or something as simple as “I just don’t like you anymore.” I don’t know…I would have just thought something would be said, but maybe that’s just how I would handle things.
I understand that people grow and change. Life is a revolving door and new people and new ways of doing things are always swirling around us. We’re allowed to grow, we’re allowed to move on, and we’re certainly allowed to change (ugh, how sad if we didn’t do those things!). Nobody can be friends with everyone they’ve ever called a friend forever. It’s humanly impossible.
Breakups in friendship happen, it’s just a fact of life. But my question is: Do we just cut off ties with people we’ve invested time into, laughed with, cried with, forgiven, and cared about? If we can so easily cut off ties, was it ever really a friendship in the first place?