Millionaire Matchmaker

0000054765_20090203145108I confess I watch this stupid show on BRAVO called the Millionaire Matchmaker.  It’s about this lady named Patti (complete biatch) who claims to be a professional matchmaker.  She founded the “Millionaires Club” (read the requirements on the homepage…it’s hilarious)  which caters to only millionaires.  99% of her clients are males looking for arm candy.  They claim they’re looking for love, which they might be, but they’re also looking for the stereotypical barbie doll.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the most recent episode from last night.  She was screening candidates for the mixer with her male client and was telling the girls how to appear at the mixer.  Seriously.  It’s almost laughable.

To a girl with really short hair: “If I allow you to the mixer, can you get hair extensions by tomorrow?”

To a girl in a long, flowy dress: “Get out of this hippy crap and put on a cocktail dress.  I want to see legs and stilletos.  Be a woman.”

To a girl who had average skin tone: “Go mystic tan.”

To a girl with a less than revealing top on: “Get a push up bra.  Let the girls out.”

To a girl with wavy hair: “Straighten your hair, you’re not on the farm anymore.”

I watch this shit and think to myself, “This is unreal.”  It’s completely superficial.  Why am I watching this crap?

Patti claims that it’s not her preferences she’s giving the girls, but it’s what the men request.  Seriously?  All men request fake tits, long, straight hair, mini dresses and stilletos?  I think I just threw up.

On last night’s episode, Patti had her first female millionairess.  But, unlike the girls selected for her male millionaire, the show didn’t show any of the rigorous coaching that the girls appeared to get for the male client.  There was no advice given to the men in regards of how they should dress, whether they should get a haircut, shave, etc…

Hypocrite say what?

Why are the girls the ones who need so much effing work?  Why can’t they be good enough as they are when they go to the screening?

Patti says it’s because the men pay to be in the “Millionaires Club,” and that they deserve the “A Group,” and not the “D Group.”

Put me in the D Group then.  I don’t know what kind of girl would want to be with a tool bag like these guys.  Shame, shame for not allowing the girls to be their authentic selves.

It’s a trashy show, I’ll admit it.  And honestly, I have yet to see one successful relationship from her matchmaking on the show.  It’s really getting on my nerves.

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