Dear Pasta,

Why do you insist on torturing me with your delicious ways?  I haven’t been tempted by you in weeks! Thanks for that.  I really appreciate it.

It’s just…today I needed you.  Maybe it’s all of the exercise, needing energy from pasta and all.  Yeah, that’s it.  Tonight, I gave into your temptation.  You are rude for tempting me. But even though you were successful at getting me to devour you, you can not make me feel guilty.  In fact, I ate you with some delicious shrimp and a lovely salad.  With ranch.  Suck on that.

I’ve been so good lately, pasta.  I’ve been eating lots of fruit, fresh veggies, almonds and other things that you have no concept of.

Maybe I’ll see you around.  I can guarantee that it won’t be often though.  You are rude and mean to me and I refuse to subject myself to your abuse on a frequent basis.

Let’s say we rendezvous next month sometime.

Pastafully yours,



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