Permanant Transition

I’m feeling really unaccomplished.  I’m not having a pitty party, don’t worry.  I’m just…stuck.

I’ve been back in Virginia for about 6 weeks and the plan that once was, isn’t anymore.  Things have changed dramatically, and there is a very large chance we could be moving to Raleigh.

I’m very excited at the idea of going back to North Carolina.  I feel like my heart is still there, and I want nothing more to be a North Carolinian.  I just feel like I’m sort of on a delay at this point.  I dropped the two classes I was registered for because the chance of us moving before the semester is up is very great.  Dropping the two courses won’t put me behind a semester, so in the long run, it’s irrelevant.

I sort of feel like I’ve done things really backwards, therefor messing with my idea of my persona.  I know I’m a big girl and am responsible for the decisions I’ve made, I just hate that I can’t seem to stick with anything.  It’s exhausting to continually be in transition.

I have my fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed that this Raleigh move gets underway quickly so that I can settle into a routine and enter a world of stability as opposed to transition.

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One thought on “Permanant Transition

  1. oh my dear natalie, you are preaching to the perverbial choir. I know how it feels to be stuck… and drop classes… and continuously change homes/scenery. Are you still enrolled in one of your online courses? The last I heard you were taking 3 classes, so I’m just curious. Did your parents encourage you to drop your courses or did you choose that direction? Is there a chance you may stay in VA? I’m sure that would be frustrating.

    How do you settle into a new life when everything is about to change – again? I’m not sure other than find something to sink your teeth into. What about temping for the rest of your stay in VA? Then you can have some extra cash and feel like you have something to do, and you don’t have to commit. Or, what about some kind of personal project? Is there some kind of art class you’ve always wanted to try (short term – like at a studio not college) or maybe focus on your health and getting to the gym? You’re my girl, and I know that you would feel more fulfilled personally if you had something to sink your teeth into.

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