I’ve had thoughts rambling in my mind for weeks now. I don’t know how to effectively express my feelings and I’ve been writing in my mind over and over. Somehow I can’t get it out right. Feelings and words are two completely different things and I can’t come up with words for how I feel.
I don’t know what the next year and half have in store for me. I say year and a half because I should finish school within that time frame, and then I’ll esentially be on a career path. It’s terrifying because I’m not certain what I want to invest my life and myself in. I know I’m not the only person who’s ever been in this place before, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a scary thought. The comforting thing is that I’m headed in a good direction – I have a time frame that I can follow, and goals within reach.
The last eight months have been anything but amazing. It’s been raw, challenging and liberating all at once. I’ve done things that I never thought I could do and in some small way, I am proud of myself. The littlest things have become a big deal in my small world, and to know that I am stronger than I thought is quite an amazing feeling.
I can’t say it isn’t sad to leave this town. I have such great and happy memories of this place. Memories and smiles that will be filed away in a place that I can look back on fondly. The people I’ve met have really made a mark on my heart, and I will always look back with a smile, and not regret. I could ball myself up on the couch and cry my eyes out over things I’ve lost, or I could look back at the smiles and laughter I experienced over the years. I choose the good memories.
I’m not really sure which direction my compass will ultimately lead me in, but I truly believe in my heart of hearts, that I’m headed in the right direction. It may take me a while, but I’m pretty sure I’ll get wherever I need to be eventually.
Love & Memories,