What really matters

Friendships are important to me. Having moved around the majority of my life, I’ve never had those friends to share life with from Kindergarten and beyond. Even when I was in 4th grade and moved to Germany, I did my best to keep in touch with the friends I left behind. After a few months of sending letters back and forth, the friendships evenually fizzled out.

I’ve continued to try to maintain existing relationships, no matter how near or far I am from those I care about. I’ve gone through many ups and downs with some of these people, but because friendships are important to me, it’s sometimes hard to just let go. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve reached my breaking point with people, yet upon further observation, realize that I don’t want to exist without these people in my life. Friendships take work…it’s a huge investment, and I don’t just want to give up on people, or friendsips. I’ve done wrong in my life and I would hope that my friends wouldn’t just throw in the towl with me. I have learned that sometimes friendships can be ugly. I mean, the ideal relationship is laughter, smiles and fun. But that it’s necessarily real. I think for it to be real, to be genuine, it sometimes has to be ugly. If we can make it through a nasty time, and still be okay with a friendship upon recognizing our differences, then that is what really matters.

Sometimes it’s hard to reach out to people, especially those you haven’t talked to in a long while, but it’s a pleasant surprise when the investment really pays off, and your friendship is still intact even after it’s been silent for a time.

I read a quote once that said “It’s sad when someone you know, becomes someone you knew.” I don’t want my friendships to be with people I once knew. That’s such a sad thought.

I tend to cling to friendships because the majority of my life, I’ve been saying “goodbye.” I love my friends like the siblings I never had. I have learned though, that although you give all you can towards a friendship, that sometimes it just doesn’t work out, and you ultimately have to let go. I’m grateful for those who have been a part of my life. I truly feel lucky to have such awesome people to call my friends, even if it only lasted for a second in time.

The truth is though, that you can have all the friends in the world, but ultimately, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.

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