Friendships are important to me. Having moved around the majority of my life, I’ve never had those friends to share life with from Kindergarten and beyond. Even when I was in 4th grade and moved to Germany, I did my best to keep in touch with the friends I left behind. After a few months of sending letters back and forth, the friendships evenually fizzled out.
I’ve continued to try to maintain existing relationships, no matter how near or far I am from those I care about. I’ve gone through many ups and downs with some of these people, but because friendships are important to me, it’s sometimes hard to just let go. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve reached my breaking point with people, yet upon further observation, realize that I don’t want to exist without these people in my life. Friendships take work…it’s a huge investment, and I don’t just want to give up on people, or friendsips. I’ve done wrong in my life and I would hope that my friends wouldn’t just throw in the towl with me. I have learned that sometimes friendships can be ugly. I mean, the ideal relationship is laughter, smiles and fun. But that it’s necessarily real. I think for it to be real, to be genuine, it sometimes has to be ugly. If we can make it through a nasty time, and still be okay with a friendship upon recognizing our differences, then that is what really matters.
Sometimes it’s hard to reach out to people, especially those you haven’t talked to in a long while, but it’s a pleasant surprise when the investment really pays off, and your friendship is still intact even after it’s been silent for a time.
I read a quote once that said “It’s sad when someone you know, becomes someone you knew.” I don’t want my friendships to be with people I once knew. That’s such a sad thought.
I tend to cling to friendships because the majority of my life, I’ve been saying “goodbye.” I love my friends like the siblings I never had. I have learned though, that although you give all you can towards a friendship, that sometimes it just doesn’t work out, and you ultimately have to let go. I’m grateful for those who have been a part of my life. I truly feel lucky to have such awesome people to call my friends, even if it only lasted for a second in time.
The truth is though, that you can have all the friends in the world, but ultimately, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.