Something sweet…

I’ve had a cell phone since I was 18. Granted, I had a pager to keep me connected when I was 16, but I officially graduated to the cool club at the ripe age of 18. In my 8 years of cell phone usage, I’ve had my share of phones. First there was At&t, then Nextel, then Sprint, and finally Verizon. I’ve been with Verizon for the longest. I think I’ve had them for about four years now. All in all, I can’t complain, but if you were to take my experience over the last 6 months into account, you wound find me a very unsatisfied customer.

It all started in January. With my birthday gift in fact. I was eligible for an upgrade from my LG flip phone and I was dying for the Motorola Razr. You know…those commercials made it look like it was the greatest invention since the internet. I HAD to have it. All was great for about 6 weeks…and then it went crazy. The phone started shutting off randomly, I didn’t get messages until days after they were sent, my ringer only worked about 1/4 of the time. Piece of shit. I took it back in Virginia and they told me I was shit outta luck. The next week I moved to NC, where the happily gave me a replacement. In PINK even! Fast forward 3 months, and the Razr has gone crazy again. Same problems, same resolution. I have had FOUR Razr’s in SIX months. I finally had it today when the dialing was so delayed I could have gotten up and run a mile by the time it was finished completing dialing. I called Verizon customer service, explained my frustration, and was told that because of the problems I was having, I was no eligible for a swap to a different make & model of phone if I wish. HELL YEAH I WISH. I wanted anything but the Razr. I confirmed that when I went into the Verizon store, that they would be on the same page as the phone customer service, and they assured me that It’d be easy breezy and I’d be happy.

Not so much.

I walked into the local Verizon office in Reston where I proceeded to wait in line for 45 minutes. Not exagerating. One tech support person working the line, and seven customers all tapping their feet. Finally it was my turn. I walked up, gave my account info, and began to tell my saga. The support guy hushed me and asked if he could just “read the notes in my account.” After he was finished, he took my phone, removed the battery case, and pointed to a red dot on the back.

“You have water damage.” he said.

“okay – great. Further proof that I’ve had the phone for 1 month and it is so fragile it can hardly stand normal wear & tear. I didn’t drop it in a fishtank Mr. Verizon. Have you heard of humidity?” I retorted.

“There is nothing I can do.” he claimed.

This is where I may have lost my cool and created a little scene in the store.

But of course you don’t blame me for being upset, right? I mean, I was told flat out by the Verizon Customer Service phone people, that my phone was in fact eligible, and it was in fact NOTATED on my account. It is NOT my problem that Verizon doesn’t properly train their employees and that they give out incorrect information.

The tech guy with an attitude went to check with his manager, only to come back with this solution:

“The manager says we can give you 15% off, but only off of a new Razr.” he stated.

“Um. NO. I want to talk to her directly.” I exclaimed.

“Well, she’s with a customer, so you have to wait.” he hissed

I hissed back at him that I would call customer service again to get their side of this fiasco, and I went outside to make a phone call, so as not to cause another scene. I finally got thru to someone who in fact said that I was given incorrect information by the original person I’d spoken with 2 hours before hand. I griped that again, It wasn’t my fault I was told bad information and that they should honor what I was originally told. After about 5 minutes of my venting, I heard the words that every cusomter wants to hear upon having been wronged.

“What can I do to fix this problem for you?” She asked

“Replace my phone! And NOT with a Razr!!!!” I practically shouted

After 10 minutes on hold, she came back to say that the best they could do since my FOURTH phone now had “water damage,” was to give me 25% of a new phone @ the pre-retail price, which would also extend my contract. Great.

“Fine. Whatever. What is comporable to the Razr that ISNT a Razr?” I asked?

Evidentely the LG 8300 is

I told her I’d be willing to do that, and if she notated my account, would the store be able to view it and honor it, and she assured me that they would have to honor it.

I went inside to look at the LG 8300 and wasn’t impressed. However, I saw something shiny & small out of the corner of my eye.

Chocolate.

I immediately rushed outside and called Customer Service again.

“Hi, i just called a few minute ago, this is what i was told, does this apply to ALL phones in the store? Oh. It does? Awesome, thanks, byeeeeeee” I said as I ran back into the store.

I went straight back to the Manager who my father had been arguing with, and told her to look at my account now.

“I have no idea how you got them to do that, but I will honor what it says in your account.” She said.

Now, keep in mind that I have worked retail, and I have worked in Customer Service having waited tables & bartended over the last couple of years. I know “that customer.” The one who just wants to take advantage of the man, and just be an asshole because “the customer is always right.” It takes A LOT to get me that pissed off, especially when it comes to things like this. I mean, I had FOUR phones before I finally raised holy hell. And that is 4 phones in 6 months people. My acting out tonight was totally justifiable, and I’d do it again if I had to. In this case, Verizon really had no choice but to fix the problem. If they can’t back up their product, or motorolas product, or whatever, then perhaps they should look at the technology they are using. Oh, and train their nice employees on how rules & procedures go, so that everyone, whether they are on the phone, or in a store, are on the same page. THAT might be good customer service. Because really, I should note that in the 3 phone calls to Customer Service I made today, I got 3 entirely different answers. And that doesn’t include the in store responses I got.

So there it is. The Razr is no more, and I’m going to dream of ways to smash it into a million pieces tomorrow. I’m thinking of hitting it with a golf club and running it over with my car. Perhaps drowning it in lighter fluid and lighting a match as well.

But for now, I’m going to dream of Chocolate.

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