I have this friend who I’ve been friends with for years. Since high school. My prom date in fact. We have struggled immensely since graduation to keep in touch, but for good and bad, I’ve tried to keep up the effort because he truly means something to me. He is bad at keeping in touch. I mean, really bad. Never calls back, never emails, nothing. Absolutely nothing. If I were in a relationship, I would certainly see this as a sign of someone not being interested, but how do we define that in friendships? When do we say this behavior is enough?
I’m sure I’ve written about this before…And I truly write about it because it hurts, and when it hurts, it means I care.
I do not act this way in friendships. If I’m friends with you, I will go out of my way to make the effort of keeping in touch. Whether you’re down the street, across the country, or on the North Pole. That is the great thing about e-mail and IM. It is convenient. Write an email, get a response a few days later — at least there was some kind of communication.
It hit me the other day how much I let this person continually hurt me. All of the unanswered e-mails and unreturned phone calls really started to add up. Lack of effort and lack of communication speaks volumes.
I don’t accept the excuses of being in law school. I don’t accept the excuses of being busy. Everyone has a life. We all have issues. We are all busy. But, if things are important to us, we find a way of making things happen.
As painful and hurtful as it is, I’ve realized that I can’t do this. I can’t wonder about this person, I can’t make the effort and get nothing in return. It’s so hard to end friendships, especially because they are so rare to actually last…but, sometimes you’re forced to make that decision you don’t necessarily want to make.
He used to read my blog from time to time, and I’m hoping that he will read this in order for me to have some closure. I’d really like for him to know how I feel, and I’d really like to know why our friendship wasn’t important to him.