therapy

I’ve been writing a lot. I mean. A lot. I guess it’s kind of always been my thing. Sometimes it comes out wrong. Sometimes the spelling is off. And sometimes my handwriting is illegible. But I love it. Clearly I don’t write everything online. I have a collection of things I write in that are just for me. I feel comfortable sharing most things with people, but everyone has things they need to keep to themselves.

Something about holding a pen in my hand and feeling it move across the paper makes me feel so comfortable. It’s a sense of relief — to get the thoughts on paper. To make them real. To remember them.

I think I got my first journal when I was 10 years old. I actually remember the day, which is really bizarre. My Mom and I had done our mother/daughter day, and she bought me this small, floral fabric covered journal. I couldn’t wait to get home to write in it, but before we got home, we came aross a dog (i think) that had gotten hit by a car. We took it to the vet where it was taken care of and I went home, and I wrote. I wrote silly stuff. Favorite foods, favorite songs, small details of mother/daughter day, what I had for dinner, and Natalie loves so and so forever. I have volumes, and volumes, and volumes of journals. 16 years worth actually. The sad thing is that maybe two are full…I would always write halfway through one, and get so excited at buying a fresh, new and pretty new journal, that I’d move on to that one before I would finish the prior one. Even now, I have 3 empty journals waiting to be written in…But I can’t bring myself away from my colored construction paper, tattered folder and dying fine tip sharpie.

Anyway. I guess being here has really encouraged me to write more. I’ve gotten away from TV and more into paper. Cool I guess.

Oh I’m so excited for this weekend. James, Shan & Linz are coming down on Friday! It will be so good to just let loose, socialize, and see the town. We always have great times together, and I’m so grateful they’re spending their weeekend with ME! I feel so lucky to have such fantastic friends. They are truly my soulmates.

I’m still loving Raleigh. I took Jackson downtown to an interactive museum on Saturday, and being downtown reminded me A LOT of Austin. Shockingly like Austin actually. Perhaps it’s the size of the town. Perhaps it’s that Raleigh is a college town. I don’t know, but I liked what I saw. I’m still feeling very confident that moving here was the best possible decision for me at this point in my life. I’m still slightly stunned that I actually did it, but I’m ecstatic and proud at the same time.

Here’s to you my friends.

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