Throughout my life, I’ve had many goodbyes. You can’t have moved around as much as I have and not seen many people come and go. Even to this day, I wonder what my best friends from 4th grade are up to. However, I wouldn’t know because we fell out of touch many, many years ago. It sucks because I tried my best to keep in touch, but they didn’t, so my attempts went nowhere. For as long as I’ve been saying those goodbyes, I’ve tried my hardest to keep those people I care about close to me. I’m so tired of goodbyes…for real.
The latest is one that has been trying to die for about 5 years now. He and I were very close in high school, and even after. We kept in touch through good times and bad, and when I moved back to Virginia, I had high hopes that we’d see eachother all the time and things would be amaznig like they once were. Since I’ve been back, I’ve talked to him less than when I lived in Texas. He lives 5 minutes from me, yet I rarely hear from him. I’m not putting the blame on either of us because we both have our own lives, but I think if we really wanted a strong friendship, we would have made it happen. Sure, we call, e-mail and IM eachother once a month or so, and claim that we’ll hang out soon, and to “call me,” but do we ever actually succeed? No. Isn’t that like a big flashing red light? You’d think if we were both committed to our friendship, a friendship would exist. But, it doesn’t. That sounds really harsh to say, but it’s the truth.
Maybe it’s that we’re in denial. Maybe we’ve both grown into different people, and the people that we’ve become have outgrown the friendship.
I’m tired of the goodbyes; but maybe they become necessary at some point.