Au Revoir

I’ve been blogging for a long time.  Since 2001, actually.  Before blogging, I kept hand written journals that go back to 1989, when I was nine years old.  Writing for me is something I need to do.  It’s how I process a lot of my thoughts and feelings, and I love having a written record of life to look back on years after things happened.

My life changed dramatically this year with the birth of Grace, and with that, comes a new chapter.  I find myself blogging over at my other blog more than I’m writing here, so that tells me that it’s time to close this part of the book.  

This blog was about me for the longest time.  My life in my twenties as I tried to figure myself out, worked my way through college, and eventually, fell in love with my now husband.  Now, my life is dramatically different.  It’s not just about me anymore.  It’s about my husband.  It’s about my daughter.

So yeah, this is my final post on this blog, but I’m not quitting writing.  I’ll continue to blog about our journey in parenthood over at The Adventures of Baby Gracie (trust me, it’s MUCH more interesting than this blogs content) if you care to follow along.

I’ve loved this blog for many, many years, but I know it’s time to let it go.  Onward and upward, friends!  :)


This past weekend, we took a quick trip to the coast of NC to introduce Grace to my dads side of the family.  It was so great to hang out with my cousin, her kiddos, my granny, and my uncle.  They loved Gracie, and we can’t wait to see them again!  









After spending the afternoon with the family, we decided to drop by the beach real quick on our way home.  Gracie’s first outing at the ocean!  Obviously she had no idea what was going on, but it was fun for us, and I loved taking her somewhere that I’ve been going my whole life.  :)






Gracie’s First Outing


At six weeks and two days, we FINALLY took you out into the world for something other than a doctors appointment. Since you haven’t had your shots yet, we decided to take you to somewhere with lots of fresh air, so we went to Pullen Park in Raleigh. We walked around the little lake and watched the paddle boats, and after 20 quick minutes, we were done. It was upwards of 90 degrees today, and you can’t handle that kind of heat for a long time, so this first trip out went fast.

Even though it was quick, it was a lot of fun. It was great to get out of the house, it was fun to see how you did in the stroller in the big, bad world, and I can’t wait to take you back when you’re a little older. The park has a carousel, multiple playgrounds and other fun stuff for kiddos that you’ll surely love.





While we were driving home, we had to make a quick trip to Target, and guess what! We brought you in! Your first shopping experience, girl!! You did awesome! You were fascinated with the fluorescent lights above as we rolled you through the store, and you were quiet as a mouse, just taking everything in. It was awesome, and gave me faith that taking you out in public won’t be nearly as stressful or scary as I thought it might be.


Gracie’s Arrival

We knew I was being induced on July 18th, so Grace’s entrance into the world wasn’t too dramatic or unexpected (the reason for induction was because she was measuring large and they just thought it to be best). The night before induction, we had dinner with my parents at one of our favorite restaurants in the area, Lucky 32.  We talked about how much the following day would change our lives, we had an awesome meal, and we headed home to finish packing up loose ends and attempted to get to bed early.

Surprisingly, we both slept fairly well, though it did sort of feel like Christmas Eve when you are five years old.  We woke up, got ready, had a quick breakfast, and snapped this last picture of just the two of us before heading out the door:

Before the Hospital


We had an early arrival time of 6:30am at the hospital, but everything was pretty seamless once we checked in.  We did all of the hospital paperwork, and were soon our way to the delivery room.

Shortly after 8am, the nurse came in to start my IV.  I’ve never had a problem with getting an IV before, but this nurse took THREE times to get it in.   Soon after the IV was started, they got me started on Pitocin.  Having Pitocin was not something I was interested in during my entire pregnancy, but when you’re being induced, there’s not much you can do about it.

The doctor came in around 8:45am to check me and to my shock, I was already dilated to 4cm.  She broke my water, which was one of the strangest sensations, ever, and we all felt really optimistic that between already being almost halfway dilated, my water being broken and the pitocin, my labor would progress quickly.

From 9am – 11:30am, contractions increased, but it was manageable.  My parents came by to visit before things got too rough, and just before lunch, I started to have extreme back labor, and couldn’t even focus on anything other than the contractions.  It finally got to be too much and I asked my parents to go have lunch so I could be with my pain.  The nurses warned us very early on that if I chose to go with an epidural, I’d have to have a full bag of fluids and that would take an hour.  They basically told me to speak up sooner than later or I’d regret waiting.

Around 11:50am, I looked at Chris and said I wanted to start the fluids and get the epidural around 1pm.   The back labor was completely excruciating and something I never want to experience ever again.  The best way to describe it is that it felt like my back was going to split wide open with every single contraction – it was the most awful thing, ever.   We called the nurses, they hooked up the fluids, and the contractions started coming closer and closer together.  I think I had just under two minutes between each, but the pain was so intense that I felt like I had no break at all.  The only relief I got was when Chris pushed hard on my lower back during each contraction, but it was still unreal.  Around 12:30pm, the pain hit a fever pitch and I couldn’t see straight or talk thru them.  (Since that moment, we’ve referred to all pain as “12:30 pain.”)  Chris did an awesome job in those last thirty minutes, pushing on my back, talking me through each contraction, and counting down the minutes.

A few minutes before noon, the nurse came in and had me sit up to get prepared for the epidural and things went really quickly from there.  The hospital did SUCH a good job of not making me wait, and literally, as soon as I sat up, I heard a booming voice enter the room and say “Did I hear someone in room 11 wants an epidural?!”

The whole epidural thing was basically a piece of cake after the back labor I was experiencing.  Chris sat in front of me and held my hands throughout the whole thing which helped a lot.  They gave me a local anesthetic to numb the area which was the most painful part.  I did feel a big pinch at another point and I yelped, but otherwise, it was uneventful.  While I was pregnant, I was afraid of a lot of the side effects of the epidural (headache, lingering numbness, etc), but ultimately, it was fine and totally worth it.

I was at 5/6 cm when I got the epidural, and I felt so much better once the pain subsided.  Seriously, I wouldn’t wish back labor on my own worst enemy.  We spent the afternoon napping, talking, watching tv and just relaxing.  It was really just one big waiting game.



The afternoon flew by, and around 5pm, I was at 7cm.  I knew that the transition period of labor was the shortest part of labor, and I was hoping that I’d progress from 7cm to 10cm quickly.  But, when they checked me again around 7pm, I was only at 8cm, which was kind of a bummer.  The doctor came back around 9pm, and I was hopeful that I was fully dilated and close to being ready to push, but, I was still at 8cm.

The doctor took a seat and had a pretty real conversation with us and said that we’d likely need to prepare for the possibility of a csection if I didn’t progress by the next time she checked me.  We talked at length about why a csection would need to happen, and I won’t lie, it kind of sucked.  It sucked to labor all day long only to end up possibly having to have a csection.  But, we obviously wanted whatever was best for Grace, so we agreed we’d give it two more hours before making a decision.

The doctor came back around 11:30pm, and I was still at 8cm.  ”Failure to progress,” my doctor said as I promptly threw up when she said a csection was in order.  We signed consent forms, my parents came back to wish us good luck, and we prepped for surgery.

I don’t remember much other than feeling really relaxed going into the operating room.  Chris was with me the whole time (with the exception of having to put on his scrubs), and the nurses were fantastic.  I was a little freaked out about being awake during surgery, but the anesthesiologist were awesome in making sure I felt nothing before the procedure started.  They kept telling me I’d feel a tremendous amount of pressure, but I never really did.  It was never uncomfortable or scary, which I think made a world of difference.  The worst part for me was the shaking that was a side effect of the medicine.  I shook and shook and shook some more, but if that’s my biggest complaint, I think I had it pretty easy.

Chris and I talked the whole time, and after what felt like FOREVER, on July 19th, at 2:28am, we finally heard a wail come from the other side of the curtain.  I’ll never forget looking at Chris, and us both getting wide-eyed and teary, knowing she was here.  They called out her weight as 10 pounds, 2 ounces, and I exclaimed out loud “holy shit.”  It all made sense why I failed to progress – she was too big and my hips were too narrow.  Chris was able to see her off to the side once they took her to the warmer to clean her up and do her APGAR, and shortly after, he went over to meet her for the very first time.

This begins the hardest part of the whole process for me.

Chris was only a few feet away from me, but it felt like miles.  Grace was calm and quiet, and I couldn’t see her, which was awful.  I totally expected to be able to see her immediately after birth, and that didn’t happen.  I remember asking to nobody in particular if she was okay, and I remember asking to see her over and over again.  Finally, Chris came over with her, and he was able to introduce me to our daughter.  I’ve asked Chris multiple times since that day how long it was between birth and me seeing her, and he says it was only about 5 minutes while they cleaned her up, but to me, it felt like an eternity.

family photo


I won’t lie.  Having to wait to see her, and being strapped down to the table and not being able to touch her was impossibly hard.  So much harder than I ever expected, and it’s something I’m still trying to be okay with.  I’m so grateful that the csection was a positive experience, but that moment was so hard because all I wanted to do was hold her, and I couldn’t.  But, she was healthy and okay, and that’s the most important thing.

While they sewed me up, Chris and Grace left the room to go to recovery, and about 40 minutes later, I was finally rolled in to join them.  By that time, it was almost 5am, and we’d been at it for almost 24 hours, but we were all together, and we were a family.  Oh, and I also got to hold her.  :)



Immediately after the surgery was finished, they gave me some kind of medication that I had a pretty nasty reaction to, so the following six hours after the above photo was taken was spent throwing up every 15 minutes.  Thankfully just after lunch that day, the reaction subsided and I started to feel like a human being again.

We spent that first day just in awe of our little girl.  She is so perfect and so adorable, and everything we’ve ever wanted.

C&N Production


All in all, we spent four days in the hospital, including that first day laboring.  We were supposed to be there an extra day, but we were doing so well that when we asked to leave early, we were allowed.  And, I am proud to say that I did the entire recovery without any narcotics, just Tylenol and Motrin.  It wasn’t easy at all, but definitely easier than reacting horribly and throwing up constantly from heavy medication (‘m the lucky one who reacts to all narcotics in a negative way).  There was definitely a lot of pain and a lot of tears, but, I made it.

So that’s the birth story of Grace.  We are so happy she’s here in our lives, and the past few weeks have been nothing short of amazing.  It feels surreal to be writing this after everything we went through trying to get pregnant, and we just feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have this precious little girl in our lives.


Nursery Tour

A few weeks ago, I was jumping up and down at this site at the end of our driveway:

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Two weeks after it’s original delivery date, the nursery furniture finally arrived.   At 32 weeks pregnant, it was a welcome relief and a happy sight to see.

When we talked about what we wanted to do for the nursery, we went back and forth for quite a while.  We both agreed that we wanted white furniture, and no real theme, but deciding on color was a nightmare.  Originally, I wanted a soft grey room with accents of pink and white furniture, but Chris said he thought it would look like jail.  Then, we talked about doing two walls pink and two walls grey, but that felt too choppy to me.  We finally decided on the oh so predictable pink, but when it came time to pink paint, we shocked ourselves by going for a more bold pink instead of the classic baby pink.  I am so ridiculously happy with the color.

Once we picked out the furniture, the room came together naturally.  The furniture has a somewhat vintage vibe to it, so we kept everything very soft and girly.  The end result is exactly what I envisioned and I just love sitting in there almost everyday.

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I love this crib so much (and the fact that it converts to a toddler bed AND full size bed!).  It’s such a girly dream.  The decal above the crib was the final touch in the room, and I love how it turned out.  It’s feminine and it just really pulls everything together.  And don’t worry, all of that stuff in the crib will be coming out before Gracie’s arrival!


I am obsessed with the dresser and Gracie is a very lucky girl to have something so beautiful to get her through the next 18 years.  The pictures above are a poem my mom wrote about our weekends at the library, and the balloon print is signed by everyone who attended our baby shower in Virginia.  So sentimental and sweet.

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I love, love, love this glider.  LOVE.  A local baby store was going out of business and we were able to buy this floor model for a fraction of the price.  It matches perfectly, it’s comfortable, and it not only rocks, but reclines as well!

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I love the softness of the curtains against the pink walls.  They turned out much better than I imagined!

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I love this matching nightstand that goes with the dresser, and I can’t wait until Grace can use it in her big girl room eventually.  The lamp is one of my favorite things in the room – the little roses are so sweet!  And of course as a reader, I love the books!!

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This diaper organizer is awesome.  I love that everything we’ll need is right there and accessible without looking cluttered.  We’ve heard great things about Burts Bees and I’m hoping it works well with Gracie’s skin.

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Drawer of diapers and wipes, ready to go!

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Washcloths and hooded bath towels!

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Socks, socks and socks!

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Every little girl needs a jar full of headbands and awesome sunglasses!

That’s the tour!  I can’t believe in just a few weeks, Grace will be part of our family and we’ll be using all of those things on a regular basis.  We are so excited to meet our little girl!